55 Witty Banter Quotes and Sayings
Ever wondered why people pay a fortune to attend film festivals, comics and even motivational speeches? The driving force is naturally derived from various factors, most of which we can’t truly explain. But here is what we know: Laughter is the best medicine. It reduces the risk of blood pressure, reduces stress levels, and, according to research, extends your life expectancy. In context, there is nothing hilarious during this Covid-19 period. People are quarantining, and there’s pretty much nothing going on. Therefore, to elevate the moods of many people, keep them healthier, and help them make light of hard situations, we have compiled a series of funny and ridiculous quotes that are unrivalled. Grab enough toilet paper to wipe away your tears as you read on. Enjoy!
- The police recently phoned me, and they were saying that they wanted to interview me. Well, I don’t remember applying for a job there.
- I don’t pretend to be anything I’m not in life, except for sober. I have pretended to be sober a few times.
- Some people need a high-five-in face with a chair.
- When one door closes, sometimes you want to get a hammer and nails to make sure it stays forever shut.
- Are you one of those who hate receiving drunk texts? Why is that? It is because you are the only person they’re thinking of when their brain can’t function properly.
- I have fallen sick from following my dreams for a long time, man. I’ll perhaps ask them where they are heading, and I’m going and hook up with them later.
- The biggest lie I tell myself is, “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.
- My week is basically: Monday, Monday #2, Monday #3, Monday #4, Friday, Saturday, Pre-Monday
- Laughing is the best medicine. But if you’re laughing for no reason, you may probably need medicine.
- Think of a number between zero to 30. Add 32 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract one from it. Now close your eyes. It’s dark
- Never sing in the shower. Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So, remember this: don’t sing.
- I hope that mask encourages someone to brush their teeth. Now you all understand the magnitude of the problem we have all been dealing with.
- Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that sits their like, “I don’t know how to hold a pencil?”
- Those of you quarantined without kids, how is it?
- Can you do whatever you want all day? Are there, naps? Do you get to eat your snacks without sharing? Is there any of that peace and quiet stuff going on?
- You know a girl is mad at you when she starts off her sentence saying, “I just find it funny how…” There’s over 90 percent chance that she didn’t find it funny.
- I’ve been to war. I’ve raised twins. If I had the opportunity to choose, I would rather go to war every time.
- A stupid person is likely to laugh three times at a joke, once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
- Maybe if we tell people that the brain is an app, they will start using it.
- I never wish death upon anybody who wrongs me. I wish for sudden and explosive diarrhea while on a date, with frequent sneezes.
- My doctor asked if any family members suffered insanity, and I replied, no, we all seem to enjoy it.
- Dear haters, I couldn’t help but realize that “Awesome” ends with “Me” while ugly starts with “U.”
- Why the theme park can snap a clear picture of you on a rollercoaster at 70 mph, but bank cameras can’t get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
- Who else does this? Wets toothbrush and puts toothpaste on. He wets a toothbrush again and then starts brushing his teeth.
- As I Wake up every day, I plan to be productive, but then a voice in my head says, “Ha-ha, a good one,” and then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
- I always try to be a nice person, but my mouth doesn’t cooperate.
- Two mysterious people live in my house. Somebody and Nobody. Somebody did it, and Nobody knows it.
- Sometimes you would wish you had the wisdom of a 90-year-old, the body of a 20-year-old, and the robust energy of a 3-year-old.
- Seeing a spider isn’t necessarily a problem. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
- Rabbits jump, and they live for eight years. Similarly, dogs do run, and they live for at least 15 years. Turtles do nothing, and they live for at least 150 years. I hope you learned
- your lesson.
- All right, everyone lines up alphabetically according to your height.
- I hate it when I’m singing a song; the artist gets the words wrong.
- My grandfather rode a camel, my father rode a camel, drove a Mercedes, my son drives a land rover, and his son will drive a land rover, but his son rides a camel.
- Love is a lot like a toothache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know there’s.
- I love being married. It’s so special to find one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
The Bottom Line
Lately, with technological advancements, it has become easier to share memes, quotes and funny GIFs through the internet. Users of social media and other mainstream platforms jump at the earliest opportunity to share these viral contents to their liking. And with the world, today, who hasn’t had a joke poked at them by their friends? Or a who hasn’t used a witty statement of banter to ridicule or tease a close friend’s crazy action? Simply put, the use of funny sayings has become a norm in engaging with friends and referencing particular sensitive situations without necessarily evoking bitter emotions. It is effective at that.
